Are you sucessful at making friends? Or being one?

Ask yourself a question for me. Are you a good friend?
Yes? Ok…ask yourself why?
Now ask yourself another question. Do you have a lot of friends?
Yes? Ok…ask yourself how many of them are really your friends? More importantly ask yourself, how many of them are you a real friend to?

It used to be so easy to count your friends. The number always directly coincided with the amount of birthday invitations you handed out. Now we gauge our ability to make friends by how many followers we have on twitter or a number on our facebook page. Does pressing the “like” button, or throwing out a “Happy Birthday, hope its a good one.” whenever you get a notification really make you a good friend? Heck, does it even make you friends at all? Can you consider that person a true friend if that’s the extent of your interaction?
I guess it all depends on your interpretation of the word friend.
Nothing is wrong with wanting to live an easy life. Keeping things simple and stress free is a sure fire way to make it through the day without letting off a round of bullets into the nearest shopping mall. But how fufilling is it? Are you making a diffrence in the lives of the people closest to you? Does having 1,000 friends on facbook really mean anything if you have no one to count on and nobody can count on you. It’s not enough to say your somebodys friend. In order to earn that title, you have to BE a friend.

Being a true friend takes work. Just because you lift at the same gym, drink at the same bar, or “hang with the same crew”, it doesn’t make you friends. Even if you do all three of the aforementioned things and even share a meaningful conversation from time to time, it still doesn’t make you friends. Being friends doesn’t stop with the pleasantries; it begins where they end.

A friend checks in no matter the distance. Friendships don’t cease when the plane takes off, or the car pulls away. A friend isn’t a convenience. You don’t turn them on like a switch when you need light casted on a problem and shut them off when you’ve turned a corner. A friend takes a healthy interest in their friends lives and learns from them. They gain new perspectives and impart knowledge just the same. A friend isn’t a leverage tool. You don’t ever judge a friend by their job, social status or what they might be able to “do” for you in the future.
People say you that you are who you surround yourself with. I say you are the sum of your actions towards the people who surround you. The people we love are going to fuck up and they are going to succeed. They are going to come from all walks of life and have all sorts of beliefs. Religion, politics, jobs, backgrounds; all different. They’ll make mistakes, sometimes small and sometimes so big they’ll push us to the limit. Sometimes we’ll wonder why we were ever friends with them in the first place. Sometimes; the next day, they’ll be wondering the exact same thing about us. The difference between someone who is in it for the minute and a significant friend, is that at the end of it all, they’re still there. Not because you asked them to be, but because, if they’re a true friend you’ll never have to ask them in the first place.
You may be sucessful at making friends, but that doesn’t mean you’re a sucessful at being one.

In order to be a sucess you first need to be significant.

It’s not necessarily always recipical, but if you’re keeping track then maybe you need to ask yourself again: Am I a good friend?


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